On the final day of the NWP Summer Institute, Stacey our leader, challenged us with a mentor poem on negative space. I struggled with it that morning, but found myself playing with the idea in my head today as I reflected on Independence Day, so unimportantly renamed 4th of July by most. I'm really not sure how effective it is. But using, Carol Anne Duffy's Valentine, found here: http://famouspoetsandpoems.com/poets/carol_ann_duffy/poems/8116
here is my latest poem.
Not freedom to to do anything and everything you want.
I give you responsibility.
It is a duty to do something meaningful.
It promises greatness
like the careful construction of the Constitution.
Here.
It will challenge you with obstinacy
like a child.
It will make your arrogant achievements
a humble journal of hope.
I am trying to be truthful.
Not a symbolic statue or a bell.
I give you responsibility.
The importance of liberty
earned not given,
fought for
in the past and present.
Take it.
Its hard work bares down like bricks
buries you.
Burdensome
its weight will crush you
forcing you to rise and be great.
I like it. I like the idea of defining something by saying what it is not. it works well in definition papers and this is a good starter to get the kids going. I especially like the "bares down like bricks..buries you" part...i will work on my skill at giving directions. it may have helped people if i was a bit more specific. I like what you did here though.
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