A Different Kind of Christmas

I am a Jew. My husband a gentile, a term I only use because he does not self-identify as anything other than a believer in G-d. There has been much controversy over the past several years around the Christmas season, concerns I never really heard years prior.  According to some, there is a "war on Christmas," there is discontent over the phrases "Happy Holidays" and "Seasons Greetings," because they leave out the word Christmas. Last year and this year, the most popular slogan on bumper stickers, car magnets, internet e-cards and memes seems to be, "Put the Christ back in Christmas."

Before I continue, please understand I mean no offense. But having been born and raised during my early childhood in New York, and later on living in the Ft. Lauderdale-Miami area, I never gave too much thought to Christmas, other than the commericalism it brings this time of year. Some people celebrated Christmas, others did not. I guess in New York it seems less noticable when you are different. I never celebrated Christmas, nor missed it. I never had to. I am Jewish, we do not celebrate Christmas, we do not have lights or trees, and despite common misconception Chanukah is not the Jewish Christmas. In the United States, we have simply succumbed to the commercial pressures of the retail market this time of year, just like those who celebrate Christmas. Chanukah is a fun celebration filled with delicious food and cultural games, songs, and traditions, but it is not really a gift-giving holiday. One present for each of the eight nights, gift exchanges, these are American traditions adopted by Jewish people in America. In Israel for example, there is no gift exchange. Anyway, the biggest Christmas-time tradition for my family was simply a convenience of the season. Before my parents split, when winter break came and Christmas hit 5th Avenue and the rest of Manhattan, we would get dressed up in our finest and go to a Broadway show. Then we would go out to eat in Chinatown and walk the beautiful city of New York, which never looks more exquisite than it does dusted with a light snow and decorated for Christmas.

But in December of 1989, Christmas changed for me. A few months earlier, I met the boy I would one day realize was my soulmate. He was raised in a Christian/Catholic home and of course they celebrated Christmas. I was 16, and at this point in my life I had never been to a church (other than the old converted one that served as the gymnastics gym I practiced in as a kid), and I never participated in a Chirstmas or Easter celebration. I was actually a little intimidated by Christmas. I was a teenager, young and insecure. I was not sure what it meant to my sense of "Jewishness" to participate in a celebration of Christmas, the birth of Christ. I joined my husband's family that year for Christmas Eve and every year after for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, or both. As I matured, I realized that sharing a cultural observance or celebration with someone else has no bearing on your own beliefs. It is simply sharing, learning, and embracing the differences that make our union special.

For me, Christmas is not about Christ. I understand why it is for people of Christian faith, and I certainly respect that this is why Christmas is. But for me it is about being welcomed into my husband's family. It is about sharing with them traditions that are important to their family culture and history, even though I do not observe them in my own home. It is about togetherness and love. I am pretty sure neither my husband, nor his family, expect that it means anything more to me than that. Much the way, I would expect nothing different from any of my friends or my husband's family coming over to my house to share in Jewish holidays or traditions. 

So I wonder. Is it ok that there is no Christ in my Christmas, or should I not have one at all? Would Christians say to me it is not my holiday? Is it unacceptable to others to share in the holiday cheer, if the holiday does not hold the same meaning for you as it does for others? I ask without snarkiness or mal intent. I am completely serious. Is it alright for someone to celebrate when they've taken Christ out of Christmas? 

Added Note: 

I posted this on the morning of Christmas Eve, failing to mention that I would be spending tonight's festivities at my friend's house. She's Catholic and all the other guests there, though not all Catholic, celebrate Christmas as part of their religious faith. I was totally welcome by not only my best friend, but all of her guests as well. It did not seem to bother any of them that our beliefs are not the same. Tomorrow, I will happily be going to Christmas dinner at my husband's sister's house.